“Bring the bass back..!”

On a recent episode of the podcast The New Yorker Poetry Sasha Debevec-McKenney chose to read the following poem by Gabrielle Calvocoressi – obviously the poem cannot be edited so please excuse, ignore, or enjoy the expletive! Calvocoressi, who is a nonbinary lesbian, has used their writing to reflect on their mother’s mental illness and suicide.

The image above is of a Giant Scarab Beetle – this huge stone scarab can be found in the British Museum. These Egyptian scarabs are carved from blue or green underglaze and then fired. The scarab has a legend as old as time which says that it is the giver of happiness, good fortune and new life – hence the delight in the bright blue sneakers in the poem!

Hammond B3 Organ Cistern
The days I don’t want to kill myself
are extraordinary. Deep bass. All the people
in the streets waiting for their high fives
and leaping, I mean leaping,
when they see me. I am the sun-filled
god of love. Or at least an optimistic
under-secretary. There should be a word for it.
The days you wake up and do not want
to slit your throat. Money in the bank.
Enough for an iced green tea every weekday
and Saturday and Sunday! It’s like being
in the armpit of a Hammond B3 organ.
Just reeks of gratitude and funk.
The funk of ages. I am not going to ruin
my love’s life today. It’s like the time I said yes
to gray sneakers but then the salesman said
Wait. And there, out of the back room,
like the bakery’s first biscuits: bright-blue kicks.
Iridescent. Like a scarab! Oh, who am I kidding,
it was nothing like a scarab! It was like
bright. blue. fucking. sneakers! I did not
want to die that day. Oh, my God.
Why don’t we talk about it? How good it feels.
And if you don’t know then you’re lucky
but also you poor thing. Bring the band out on the stoop.
Let the whole neighborhood hear. Come on, Everybody.
Say it with me nice and slow
   no pills  no cliff  no brains onthe floor
Bring the bass back no rope  no hose  not today,
Satan.
Every day I wake up with my good fortune
and news of my demise. Don’t keep it from me.
Why don’t we have a name for it?
Bring the bass back. Bring the band out on the stoop.
Hallelujah! Gabrielle Calvocoressi 1974-

Prayer:
Yes Lord, there are days
when it is hard to let hope in!
There are days when I am convinced there
is no way to turn the world around.
Save me from those days, restore
in me not just a crack of hope , like
light through an almost closed door, enter
my life like a morning sunrise which chases
away all darkness .
Help me to let hope back in and may
the deep bass sound, that hold all melodies
together, hold me steady and enable me to sing
a new song. Amen.